failed-to-say.net

So, let’s see. First and foremost, I fail at consistently blogging. I’ve been pretty busy the last few weeks, though, so I guess that’s a legitimate excuse. Plus, I don’t really feel like I have much to talk about anymore. Well, besides the same old rant, but I really don’t want to talk about it here. I’d like to at least think there’s one part of my life that’s not tainted in misery.

We had a bit of a scare in the general area a few weeks ago. A woman was beaten in her home, and her three young children found her in the morning. They ran to the neighbor’s house, and she called the police. The woman goes to my grandparent’s church, and the last they heard, she’s recovering, but she had skull fractures and she still can’t speak, though she is awake and aware. There have also been some robberies around town. Luckily, in those cases, it’s just been possessions that have been taken. I mean, they might be valuable, but by comparison, valuables can be replaced while a life can’t. Either way, it’s make me double check the locks at night and look into home alarm systems for safety. It’s things like that that remind you that you’re never as safe as you think you are.

On a much brighter note, my sister had an ultrasound today, and she found out she’s having a boy. Just after she called my grandma, she sent me a text message with a picture attached. *points to the right* That’s my nephew. :) Last time we talked about it, she was considering the name of Xavier, but I think it’s still up in the air, so I’ll just have to refer to him as my nephew. Either way, it’s kind of exciting thinking about having another baby around. Tori’s getting so big. She’s in her second year of preschool. It’s crazy.

It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been a bit out of it lately.

Let’s see – I got a new kitten. A neighbor found it in the field, meowing and came to ask if it was ours. It, obviously, wasn’t, but we took it anyway. We weren’t sure it was a boy or a girl at first, so I named it Charlie. Turns out, it’s Charlotte opposed to a Charles. Very hyper, but still cute and lovable.

I’ve taken a bit of a break from reading the Left Behind books. I only have about a book and a half left to go, but I just needed a change of speed. Those books were so heavy, and now they’re winding down and I’m kind of sad to finish. So I’ve been listening to Along For the Ride, which is Sarah Dessen’s newest book. It came out last month, and, luckily, it’s release date coincided with my monthly credit from Audible. I snagged it right up, but I’m only just getting around to listening. I will say that it’s excellent so far, though. I’m about halfway through listening. I’d probably be done if I were actually reading the physical book, but sometimes I think listening is better. It’s harder to miss out on details, I think. Thank goodness for Mp3 players. I know mine gets plenty of play and was certainly worth the money. I love audiobooks because I can listen and work on other stuff at the same time and not feel like I’m slacking off on things that I need to get done. It’s a great feeling.

Ah, the weekend – my favorite part of the week. I got paid yesterday, so I had to go to the bank this morning. I thought about running a few errands while I was there, but I just didn’t feel like it, so it looks like those will have to wait until tomorrow when I take my grandpa to drop the car off at the shop. There’s something wrong with it – water pump, I think – and they had to order the part at the shop.

Today, I feel like I’ve been slightly more productive than usual. I worked on some of my fanlistings. I wound up closing five of them. It wasn’t because I’m not longer a fan, but I’ve had them for a few years with little growth. It seemed pointless to keep them open if no one was joining. All the while, I’ve been listening to Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer on audiobook. It’s the first time I’ve listened since right after I got the book, I think. I’ve slowly been going back through the whole series. I guess I should have stretched it out a bit more since I have to wait until November for New Moon to come out in theaters. The trailer, however, is premiering at the MTV Movie Awards tomorrow night, so that’s exciting.

I’m kind of annoyed, though. My Internet connection seems to be running a bit slow. It’s been that way off and on over the last few months. There’s been a few times where it hasn’t connected at all, and when that problem occurs, it usually originates back at the Linksys router. I’m not sure if that’s what’s causing the slow connection as well, though. I know it’s much faster when no one else in the house is on the computer, but it usually doesn’t make it as slowl as it has been the last couple of nights. Grr.

I’m making brownies. I need chocolate. I also need sleep. And a vacation from everything. I’ve been in an incredibly funky mood as of late. I’m either incredibly grumpy or completely indifferent. I can’t explain it.

I also started writing. But I think it probably sucks. I can’t really tell anymore. I haven’t been writing anything regularly for ages, and so I feel completely out of practice. I could try selling bcbsnc plans and probably have more confidence in that, with no experience, than I currently do in my writing skills.

It’s frustrating. I used to love writing. I used to do it every day. Now, nothing. And what little I do write, I can’t help but second guess. When did life start to suck so much? I guess I know the answer to that – when I had to grown up and become a responsible adult. Now I understand why I always thought my parents were such killjoys. The life had been sucked out of them by adulthood.

My cat, Smokey, is missing. He’s been gone since Monday, and he’s never stayed away for this long before. I’m worried about it, but I’m trying to remain optimistic that he’s okay and he’ll come back. I’ve had him for nearly seven years, so he’s like my baby. I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t come back. Well, besides cry.

I had the day off from work today. I got caught up on Lost. All I can say about the finale is oh.my.god. It’s going to kill me to wait for season 6. I can’t believe it’s the last season. What will I do once it’s over? I guess I’ll have to find something else to obsess over.

Today actually turned out to be a rather decent day. I think it got up into the high seventies before it was all over. With all of this rain lately, I’ve been feeling a little mopey and lazy. Rain just makes me want to sleep,. I never would have survived living in Forks. (Twilight reference ;)). Summer will be here before too long, though. It got me thinking about vacation. My mom and Bart have talked a little about what they’re going to do this summer, but I haven’t heard anything concrete so far. I think it would be awesome if they rented a place on the Outer Banks, so we could chill out of the beach and soak up the sun. I doubt they’d go for it, though. Our vacations usually only last a couple of days and consist of some sort of amusement park. I guess that’s better than nothing, though.

Ugh, it is so depressing to check one’s bank statement and see how much it’s depleted in just a matter of days. Of course, I had bills to pay – credit cards, car insurance, and other miscellaneous junk that I probably don’t really need. But that’s the story of my life.

I went into work at eleven. We seem to have a lot of orders for banners coming through the door lately, and then a few random small jobs. The last few days at work have been good. Lots of laughing, and that’s nice.

I feel pretty tired today, and I’m not really sure why. I got a decent amount of sleep last night, but I have a feeling I’m going to call it a night early tonight.

Season finale of Lost tomorrow night. I cannot wait.

I went out for lunch with the family today to celebrate Mother’s Day. We went to Applebee’s. It was great, of course. I got the sirloin and the loaded mashed potatoes. And I tried to the Applebeetini. It was pretty good, but I’m really not much of a drinker these days, but it was pretty tasty. And I was completely stuffed afterward. The way I’ve been eating lately, I feel like I could definitely due with being pointed in the direction of the the best diet pills on the market. I know it’s not right, but sometimes fast food is just easier, and after spending the day at work, the last thing I really want to do is come home and cook. Maybe this summer I can go back on Weight Watchers. We’ll see.

I have been productive today. I went through a few of my drawers and cleared out some old stuff to make room for more of my clothes. I’m also in the process of doing my laundry, and while I’ve been productive I’ve been listening to City of Glass by Cassandra Clare. I’m really enjoying the trilogy, and it’s probably good for me to get into something that isn’t solely based around Twilight. I’m broadening my horizons you might say.

I think I might have an addictive personality, though. For the longest time my focus was on Hanson. If there was news about them, I was on it. Not so much anymore. Of course, for the last few years Hanson news seems to revolve around birth announcements, and while maybe some fanatical fans are into news like that, and probably went out and bought each brother and their wife diaper cakes for the sake of kissing butt, that’s just really not my thing. At all.

After Hanson came my major Harry Potter fixation. I still love it, but the series is finished. i still have three more movies to look forward to, of course, but my interest in the fandom has been waning. Probably because I’ve just gotten into other things.

Twilight has been the big fandom focus for the last couple of years, but with Breaking Dawn released and Midnight Sun on hold indefinitely, I feel like I need something new to latch onto. Sure, I still have a couple more movies in the Twilight saga to look forward to and I won’t even try to deny my addiction to Twilight fan fiction, I’m enjoying getting into something else for a while.

The Mortal Instruments trilogy has been a fun little adventure into a different fandom. Plus, it’s just nice to read something new because I feel like I’ve done nothing by reread the same select books over and over again for the last couple of years. Again, addictive personality. Anyhow, I should get back to being productive.

Shoo-wee! It’s hot in here. Outside, it’s pretty muggy. For a while I thought it might rain, and I suppose there’s still a chance it might, but thus far it hasn’t happened. I feel all hot and sweaty. I’d say we could forget about treadmills because I’m likely to melt away, but I don’t think fat really works that way – unfortunately.

Mother’s Day is on Sunday, and I went and bought my mom a gift. I stopped by Bath and Body works and got her some more cherry blossom lotion, body wash and spray. We’re also going out for dinner on Sunday, but I don’t know yet where we’re going. I tried to find something for my grandma as well, but I came up empty, aside from a card. I really hate trying to buy gifts. I suck at it.

I’m so happy. I finally upgraded my phone, and I got the maroon enV2. I also added texting to my plan, and I’m so pleased with it. I think I probably spent more time checking out and using my phone in the last day than since I got it than I ever did with my old phone. Of course, it was a heaping piece of junk. I mean, it worked, but it didn’t have any cool features. It was just very basic. My grandma probably would have liked it.

I’ve also been listening to books on audio again. I started listening to City of Bones by Cassandra Clare the other night. I’m a little have halfway through it, and I’m really enjoying it so far, so I think I’ll be checking out the other two books in the trilogy. I think I still have a credit I haven’t used at audible, so I’ll probably use it on that. The only problem with my love of audiobooks is that I don’t always have time to listen, which is sort of the same issue I have with actually reading from a book. If only there were more hours in the day or I just had more energy. I always feel like I have so much stuff that I put off until tomorrow, which usually turns into next month or next year. It’s pathetic, really.

Well, the good news is that the weather’s nice. The bad news is that my allergies are really acting up. Yesterday, I was rubbing my eyes during most of the drive home. They just itched so bad. I didn’t even have a voice when I woke up yesterday morning, and my throat was killing me all day, so add the itchy eyes to the mix, and I knew that allergy season was upon me.

I got up at 7:45 this morning of my own accord. I have no idea how this works, but if I have to be up early, I cannot get myself to wake up and move. If I don’t have to be up early, I seem to get up and go with few problems. Maybe it has something with an aversion to obligations or something.

I went by the bank and put my paycheck into my checking account and then went by the Dollar Store. I bought some allergy medicine, and then I went by McDonald’s to get breakfast. I can’t remember the last time I went there for breakfast, so it was a bit of a treat to myself. I got a McGriddle and orange juice. I was probably more excited about the OJ than anything else. I’m weird like that sometimes.

Speaking of going by the bank, they’ve changed names, and I got this letter in the mail where they were trying to sell me insurance that covered accidental death or dismemberment. I found this totally disturbing, but I can almost bet that the first time I start comparing life insurance rates, I’ll be looking to see if they’ll cover it if someone decides to chop me up into pieces. I probably shouldn’t find it amusing, but it just seems so absurd.

I am so tired today. I think it’s mostly from all the shopping I did over the weekend. I just don’t have the same sort of shopping energy that my mom seems to have. I guess I can’t complain, though. I did get a few cute shirts at a pretty decent sale price. Now I just need to go through my closet and box my winter clothes up. I’m not looking forward to that.

I’ve had a horrible headache most of the day. I took something for it when I got home from work, but that was over an hour ago, and it still hasn’t completely went away.

On a brighter note, my copy of the How To Be soundtrack came in the mail today. I’ve listened through it once, but I wasn’t paying close attention, so I’ll probably listen through again later tonight. I love my some Rob Pattinson. I’m so ready to see the movie.

And the Tinted Windows album should be available to download tomorrow. I pre-ordered it sometime last week, and I’m looking forward to hearing it as well. :)

PS. I have a new layout. I didn’t make it, so I like it a lot, naturally.

I went shopping with mom and Tori today. Spent more money than I planned, but wound up with three really cute shirts. We had Panera Bread for lunch, which is always a highlight of shopping with the mom. Tori was irritable and bratty. Next time she’s staying at home.

I was miserable after lunch. I’m not used to eating a full meal midday. I might have lost weight, but I’m not brave enough to grace the scales. My new clothes were smaller sizes than what I’ve bought in the past. Perhaps working through lunch is the best diet pill out there. It seems to be working. Or it could all just be in my mind.

The weather was nice. I drove home with the windows down and the music up. Classic. It’s hot now even with the windows opened. I’ll be kicking the covers off tonight for sure.

‘Tis Good Friday, and I mean that in every sense. I had the day off because of the holiday. I went into town to cash my check, fill up my very nearly empty gas tank and got lunch from McDonald’s. Then I came home, ate and indulged in a House, M.D. marathon. I quite enjoyed it.

I’m still way, way behind on House. I hadn’t even finished watching season four, but I’m well into season 5 now. I can’t remember why I got behind on watching, but it’s one of those shows that’s just so addicting, so it was pretty easy to get back into watching it. I’ve noticed something, though. Every time they team starts to talk about diagnosis, somehow Foreman always ends up mentioning Addison’s and MS as a possible diagnosis. You’d think that they’d be a little more creative. Why isn’t someone throwing out mesothelioma or cystic fibrosis just to spice things up? Of course, I have no idea what they’re talking about more of the time anyhow. It makes me curious as to how much the actors know as well. I mean, you have to at least have some idea of what you’re discussing in order to make it sound believable, right?

Gah, I’m so tired. I feel like I say that every time I update. I need new material. Seriously, though, I’ve been so tired lately. Friday I came from work, checked my email, ate dinner, watched some TV and then laid down before eight. I had a headache, so I thought I’d just take a short nap and sleep it off. Nope. I woke up around 11:30, still feeling icky and I read a chapter of fan fiction and went back to bed. I slept until almost ten the next day, and I still felt tired. I would say it was possible that I got too much sleep, but I just didn’t feel good in general, so I don’t know. I’ve kind of felt that way on and off ever since. The weather hasn’t helped either. It keeps going from pretty nice to cold and back and forth. Today, I don’t think it ever got past the low forties.

Work is good, or as good as “work” can get anyway. Today sort of just flew right by, which is suprising since Mondays usually seem to drag, as do Wednesdays and Fridays. I don’t go in until noon tomorrow, so that likely means an extra hour of sleep for me today. Is it sad that these sort of things actually excite me? My life is so lame.

I think I might have lost some weight. Either that, or my clothes are just stretched out, which could easily be the case, I guess. I feel like I might have lost some weight, though. I guess it helps that I’ve been a bit more active since I’ve started working regularly again. I’ve been thinking about going back on Weight Watchers or something, but again it’s the same old battle of finding the energy and the right time to start. It just seems like it’s something that I have to really be focused on. I mean, sure, it would be easy to find the best diet pills out there and start taking them, but at the end of the day, it really doesn’t seem to do much to help me manage what I’m eating. I have feeling that it’s going to be summer before I find the willpower to make myself try to lose weight again. I guess we’ll see.