Since Friday was the 4th of July, we had a cookout here. Hamburgers, hot dogs, chips. The whole shebang. Unfortunately, my cousins and brother were obnoxious, as usual. I, honestly, can’t ever imagine being that annoying at that age. I might have been from time to time, but, overall, I just don’t think I was.

Anyway, it was raining off and on most of the evening, which sucked because the point of the cookout was sort of to be outside. The kids stayed outdoors most of the time, though, which was nice since they were so annoying. And we really don’t have the best outdoor lighting anyway.

The fireworks started at ten, so around 9:30 I rode with my grandparents up to my mom’s house to watch them. Thankfully, it hadn’t rained too much at her house, but in town is was pouring down. The fireworks weren’t nearly as exciting at they used to be, and I got bit my mom a stupid mosquito - on the hand, no less.

But we had s’mores afterward, which sort of made it okay. Nothing to extravagant, but it was still nice.

I feel so restless these days. It’s mostly related to my desire to write. I seem to have all sorts of stories in my head, but I can’t seem to make myself sit down and concentrate on getting it out. I miss the days where I could just sit down and start writing without much thought. I’m supposed to be focusing on a story named Solace, and I have all sorts of bits and pieces of it in my head, but I also have a couple of other stories floating around that I feel like could have some potential. If I could just find the drive to start writing, I’m sure I could get them out, but I can’t seem to get myself to do that.

I also have some bits and pieces from the story I wrote last November for NaNoWriMo in my head. It was called Orange Sky, and I let people submit challenges, and I didn’t use all of them and I planned to write short pieces that went along with the story, but I haven’t gotten around to it. I should have done it right away. I was in the right frame of mind and setting for the story. Now I think I’d have a hard time getting back there without going back and looking into New York City travel and stuff like that because that’s where the story was set.

I don’t know. I can’t call it writer’s block since I have the stories in my head. Maybe it should be called writer’s motivation block. Hmm.

I went shopping with my mom this past weekend. That seems to be her favorite pasttime because she goes about every weekend. I find it odd because she’s always complaining about not having money for this or that, but whatever. Anyway, we went to this new outdoor mall that’s out of town. It’s really new. They’re still putting in stores, so there really wasn’t a whole lot of places to go, but we did go to JC Penny. The one there was significantly larger than the one closer to us.

I didn’t find a whole lot of stuff, but I think that’s mostly because I’m picky about how much I’ll pay for stuff. I did manage to find a pair of capris for about $12, which was cool because I don’t know have but a couple of pairs.

Aside of JC Penny, we went into Stein Mart, Payless Shoe Source, and some other shoe store that my mom wanted to look at. They had some serious ugly going on in there. Ugh.

We wanted to go to Old Navy, but it wasn’t in yet. Kind of annoying since they had signs up in random places. The only other huge store they had there was Dick’s Sporting Goods. Naturally, we aren’t that interested in golf bags and baseball mitts. My mom even said, “Who wants to go in there?” And, of course, when we got back to my mom’s place, Bart was there and we mentioned it to him and he said, “Oh, I’d like to go in there and look around sometime.”

Go figure.

Why must the real world suck so much? I feel like every summer I’m just hit with a whole new rash of bills. The main one is my college loans. I’ve had to start repayment, and that’s no fun. It’s not a huge monthly bill, but just enough to put a dent in everything else, and with the price of gas these days, every cent matters. I suppose I should just be glad that I don’t have to worry about stuff like mortgage lenders or car payments.

I also haven’t been feeling so great the last couple of days. As I said yesterday, every time I move, I feel like a bowl of Rice Krispies because something either snaps, crackles or pops. So not cool. I don’t feel as bad today. I think I mostly slept it off, whatever it was. I’m not nearly as tired and achy today, which is a relief. But I guess if I’m going to get sick, now would be the best time since I have the family vacation coming up, and I wouldn’t want to be sick during that.

I’m so excited. I’ve got most of the books I ordered today. I got one yesterday, and then the bulk of it came today. I’m not sure why they sent them separately like that, but whatever. I still have Breaking Dawn coming in August. I’m so excited about that, but the ones I ordered should help tide me over until then.

Sunday we had a dinner for Father’s Day. We had tacos at my Grandpa’s request. I got up early on Sunday morning to get Bart and Grandpa’s gifts. I wanted to get them more personalized gifts, but I had to settle for gift cards for Applebee’s for both of them. I know my mom and Bart go there to eat a lot, and I thought my Grandpa would like it because it could get a steak or something. It was really nice out, and I spent most of the day out on the front porch. Unfortunately, I still have itchy eyes because of that, but I think it was worth it.

Dad called my Uncle Punch while he was out here to see if he had any beer. I can’t get over how ridiculously pathetic my father is. I didn’t even bother in acknowledging on Father’s Day. He hasn’t done anything to deserve it. Bart and Grandpa have been more of a father figure for Allyson, Blaine and myself, at least as far as consistently being around and doing those little things dads are supposed to do. I don’t think I’ve ever really realized that before, but I’m grateful for it, nonetheless.